Our story has been a wild journey full of ups and downs. We first met at the store where I worked. At the time, we were both married to our second husbands. Becky had five children and had just left the Mormon church. She had recently come out as a lesbian and was preparing to leave her husband. I was stuck in an unhappy marriage and struggling to find a way out. Looking back, meeting her was exactly what was meant to happen.
Originally, I wanted to hire her to help care for my two-year-old son, who has autism. I needed extra help, but it didn’t take long to realize she was meant to be much more than a caretaker. We both left our husbands and decided to move in together. Four of her five kids were still living at home, and I brought my son. Blending our families was far from easy. Becky is fifteen years older than me, and I’m fifteen years older than her youngest son, which caused some tension at first. Some of her kids accepted our relationship, but not everyone was comfortable with it.
Her youngest two children bonded with me most, especially her daughter, Hannah. She was fifteen at the time, kind-hearted, and the most open-minded about her mom leaving the church. We became close, and in October 2018, Hannah gave me her blessing to propose to her mom. I had no idea Becky was also planning her own surprise proposal with Hannah’s help! It was one of the happiest moments of our lives.
A month later, tragedy struck. Becky and her two youngest kids came with me and my son to my family’s Thanksgiving dinner. The day was wonderful full of laughter, food, and love. That night, after we returned home, Hannah went to a friend’s birthday party and was in a terrible car accident.
We spent two long weeks at the hospital by her side, praying for a miracle. On December 7, 2018, Hannah passed away. She became an organ donor and saved several lives. We had only been together for less than six months, but that heartbreak could have torn us apart. Instead, it made our love stronger.
The next summer, I took Becky and her two sons to visit my family in California. While there, I re-proposed to her to remind her that I still wanted to marry her, the new her, who carried both love and grief. We took some of Hannah’s ashes and placed them in the Pacific Ocean, letting the waves carry her spirit.
Not long after, Becky’s middle child decided to cut her off because of our relationship, and her oldest kept her distance. Losing three children in one year nearly broke Becky, but the two who stayed close gave us strength. Our blended family our three boys at the time brought us so much comfort.
Becky’s brother, who had also left the Mormon church and come out as gay, supported us completely. He flew us to New York in October 2019 to get married. He even became ordained so he could officiate our ceremony. On a quiet beach at Coney Island, one year after Becky’s proposal, we exchanged vows and became wives. We brought a small part of Hannah with us, spreading her ashes in the Atlantic Ocean.
In 2020, I had weight-loss surgery after years of struggling with my health. I lost over 100 pounds, and life slowly began to feel lighter again. That same year, our oldest, who was 22, came out as transgender and chose the name Olivia. Because my dad and even my ex-husband are also transgender, it wasn’t hard for us to support her fully. We helped her change her name, see new doctors, and start living the life she deserved. I even began the process to adopt both Olivia and Becky’s youngest son, to give them stability and love.
Today, we have built a happy, busy home filled with love, pets, and laughter. We homeschool the younger kids and work from home. We still carry grief especially for Hannah but we move forward together, one day at a time.
After everything religion, loss, judgment, and change our love has only grown stronger. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what others expect of you. It’s never too late to follow your heart, to love who you love, and to build the life you truly deserve.
