In our teenage years or adulthood, we often do not understand and value the things our parents may be teaching us. However, there always comes a time when you will reflect on how valuable the lessons were. Becky put forward a few that she reflected on, the first of which was how valued manners were. Her mother was big on manners and appreciated a set routine, tidiness, and politeness.
Every night, once the family was done having dinner, Becky recalls sitting with her mother, who read the children a few pages from the book, with white gloves and party manners. It was a ritual! Although the children did not take it seriously on some days, every day they tried something new, and over time, everyone in the house knew the art of setting up a table, the manners of passing food, and how to give respect, the most important one. While Becky penned the first lesson, she recalls wanting ketchup and reaching across the table herself, which was against the rules. Did you learn a lesson? Yes, when mother instantly cracked her knuckles with a fork.
What Becky’s table had taught her is not just limited to behaving well or learning the right ways to clean or eat, but the deeper values are the most valuable. Children still in their learning ages always heard dad teach them to say nice, and if they had nothing to say, he taught them to stay quiet. They learned the art of patience and silence when in anger and never arguing with a fool. This time again, a memory hit Becky. It was when she said, ‘ Never argue with a fool, because bystanders can’t tell the difference, ’ in school, and she was taken to the principal’s office. Rather than being ashamed or worried, she said her dad had taught her these life principles. Raising children the right way!
Being patient is one of the hardest things in adulthood, especially when you learn it later in life. So, her parents taught her immense patience early in life. Whenever Becky showed up to Dad to complain about someone or something bothering her, he always told her how the other person could be going through a rough patch in life. We often do not see the other side of the story, so why judge? This lesson taught has always played an integral role in how Becky views things, how positively her perspectives are shaped. It is beautiful to stay compassionate towards others, no matter the problem. With this came the realization that Becky can not expect everyone to like her, and she does not have to worry about it. Becoming a people pleaser does nothing but bother you emotionally and mentally.
Here comes another valuable lesson you need to stick to forever, as friendships remain an essential part of life, no matter how old you get or where your life takes you. Becky’s mother taught her that it was all she needed, even if she had three friends, but only one she could rely on and trust. Big social circles lead to chaos and are not cool, as you hardly get time to meet and interact with people later in life. Once adulthood hits you, you need to be understood and loved.
The parents also taught generosity, but were a constant reminder of how, if you give someone something, forget about it. It will come back to you as the love you give returns, in various ways. Lastly, we talk about love. She was taught early how love is selfless and is mainly based on endurance and perseverance, whether in a relationship with parents or marriage. Becky grew up seeing how mom was the biggest cheerleader for dad, and now, as she is diagnosed with Dementia, no one can take care of her life, dad.
All these years, our parents have taught us all the right ways to live, exhausting but incredible!
