My life changed forever with one phone call. My healthy 39-year-old husband, Gary, called me from work saying he felt “off” during a dental procedure. He worried it could be a heart attack and asked me to take him to the hospital.
I quickly got my baby up from his nap, grabbed my toddler, and tried to find a neighbor to watch them. When no one answered, I took them with me.
Once we realized Gary would be in the ER for a while, a friend came to take the kids. Several hours later, the doctor approached me in the hallway, her eyes brimming with tears.
I demanded to know what was wrong. Her voice broke as she delivered the blow: “There’s a tear in his aorta… it’s devastating.”
I had to break the news to Gary myself and tell him to stay calm to keep his heart from pumping too hard. He was flown to a hospital in Portland for emergency surgery. The flight nurse, Sam, promised to get him there alive and texted me updates during my four-hour drive. I told Gary over the phone that I loved him not knowing it would be the last time I’d hear his voice.
At the hospital, nurses reassured me he was still alive during surgery, and after eight hours, they said it was successful. But moments later, the surgeon explained that his aorta had torn completely during anesthesia, he had coded, and gone without oxygen for five minutes. Even if he regained consciousness, he would be left with profound disabilities.
When I saw him in the ICU, nothing could prepare me for the sight, swollen, unconscious, ventilated. I begged him to keep fighting. Then came another blow: my mom told me my sister had died the night before. I thought surely God wouldn’t take my husband too. But hours later, the doctor told me it was time to say goodbye. I had to tell our four children their dad wouldn’t be coming home. The image of them saying goodbye will never leave me.
I lay beside Gary as the machines were turned off. He was gone in minutes. I even asked the man taking him to the morgue to treat his body with care, it meant everything to us.
The only way I’ve survived losing my husband and sister within a day is through God’s strength and the kindness of friends, family, and strangers. My sister and brother-in-law welcomed me and my kids into their home and hearts.
I promised Gary I’d keep going, be a good mother, and create a beautiful life for our kids. Option A life with him is gone. I’m living Option B, and I will make it worth it. Even when I think I can’t stand up again, I will, for my husband, my sister, my kids, and myself.
