As Tracy turns 45, she has been experiencing a wave of emotional rollercoaster lately, and a surge of nostalgia has been overwhelming her. She realized how quickly time was passing, not just for her, but for her children as well. Seeing her kids grow up so quickly filled her heart with love, pride, and a bit of sadness. She wasn’t complaining, just feeling all the messy, beautiful emotions that come with motherhood.
One weekend, Tracy caught a glimpse of her 12-year-old daughter, she was unable to recognize her. Her baby girl turned into the tall, confident girl standing before her. She was so changed that it took Tracy’s breath away. When her daughter smiled, seeing her braces, she saw the little girl she once knew. Her daughter now stood just an inch shorter than Tracy, who was 5’7” herself. She wore women’s clothes and size 11 shoes. Tracy was sure that before her next birthday, her daughter would be taller than her. It amazed her how fast her little girl had turned into a young woman.
Her daughter was in 7th grade, which Tracy called the “sandwich year”.The middle year of middle school. She wasn’t new anymore, but she wasn’t ready to move on to high school either. Tracy liked this stage. It was a small pause before life started moving even faster. Her daughter had also shown great passion and responsibility. She’d been hard at work raising money for her second mission trip to Antigua. She made posters, planned snack sales, and collected hundreds of dollars. Tracy couldn’t help smiling with pride. It felt like just yesterday she was teaching her how to tie her shoes, and now she was planning fundraisers to help others.
Sometimes Tracy thought about how little time she had left before her daughter became an adult, just six more years as a child. In that short time, she would grow, make mistakes, learn from them, and become her own person. Tracy hoped her daughter’s kind heart and love for people would always stay strong.
Then there was her 7-year-old son. He was growing fast, too. The chubby baby who once wore a Tigger costume on Halloween was gone. Now, he was tall and thin, with a few missing teeth. When he lost one last week, he grinned and said, “I’ve been looking to get my hands on some cash.” He wanted to save up for a Nintendo Switch and had even pulled out his tooth himself to get money from the tooth fairy. Tracy laughed; he was a determined boy! He was also full of big thoughts. He loved reading and often spent more than an hour with his books after school. He asked deep questions like, “Why are dolphins mammals if they live in water?” and once said, “I think God wants me to be a comedian so I can make people happy.”
Tracy often told her kids to “freeze” and stop growing up, but they only laughed and kept getting taller, braver, and more independent. Just last month, she watched her oldest daughter get married. On a gray afternoon at her sister’s farm, she said goodbye to her firstborn’s childhood. The fiery red-haired girl who once wore pigtails and a pansy-print dress was now a beautiful bride. It felt like only yesterday that she had walked her to her first day of kindergarten.
Looking back, Tracy wished she had slowed down more when her first child was small.the years had passed too quickly, marked by photos in old albums and boxes of film. Now, with her younger two, she took hundreds of pictures. Maybe too many—but she didn’t care. She wanted to remember everything. Time moves fast, and she knew it steals our babies away too soon.
As another autumn passed, Tracy realized she had grown too. The little girl her own mother once knew was now a 45-year-old woman with three red-haired kids. And just as Tracy looked at her daughter and wondered where the years had gone, her mother probably did the same with her. Every mother feels the same ache as she watches her children grow and change. But even as they grow taller, get married, and move away, one thing never changes: she will always be their Mama.
