I never supposed I would be expectant at the age of 15. It was common where I grew up, but I never imagined that I would knowledge it. I discovered I was pregnant in April 2003, but I kept it a secret. Up until the day I felt my baby thrill, I continued playing sports and making an effort to lead a normal life. I was overwhelmed with anxiety and fear.
Courtesy of Marlys Monet
My secret was out by October. My parents were waiting with a gravidity test when I got home from school. Despite her dissatisfaction, my mother promised to ensure the health of my child after the positive test. She knew I was far along the instant she touched my belly that night. I was seven months pregnant with a girl, rendering to an ultrasound.
Courtesy of Marlys Monet
An acceptance counselor came by shortly after. I knew open adoption was the best choice, and she was kind. I started looking through family outlines with the father of my child. I knew they were the one when we met them over banquet, and the first couple I saw continued in my heart. I wanted more for my daughter than I could provide, but it was the firmest choice of my life.
Courtesy of Marlys Monet
I created a birth plan as my due date sketched near. I went into labor on January 10. After taking a shower and applying greasepaint, my mother and I went to the hospital. I requested that my daughter’s adoptive parents hold off until I had some alone time with her. She was born in a matter of hours, flawless. I gave her my name, Kya Monet, even though I knew they would alteration it.
Courtesy of Marlys Monet
There was love and sorrow in those hospital days. I gave her a hug, told her how much I loved her, and dressed her in her going-home clothing on January 12. Knowing that she would never be truly mine again, I then located her in the arms of her adoptive mother.
Courtesy of Marlys Monet
Courtesy of Marlys Monet
We sustained to connect over the years. I always knew she was safe and doing well, even though we didn’t always see each other. Even though there were difficult times, like when she called someone else “mom,” there were also lovely instants.
Courtesy of Marlys Monet
My birth daughter is now sixteen years old. She refers to me as “mother,” we get to see each other once a week, and my three children love their big sister. She is a remarkable human being, a gifted athlete, and an unresolved student.
Courtesy of Marlys Monet
Courtesy of Marlys Monet
People have asked me if I remorse my decision. I don’t. Adoption gave her a upcoming I couldn’t have given her, but it still breaks me occasionally. I slew her. She was given a future by her adoptive mother. We gave her hope composed. Our story is still being printed, and God’s grace has been present at every turn.
