The idea of getting married may seem like a dream, something unreal; however, marriage is not what we perceive after watching tens of romcoms. It’s a fact that they are far from reality, and if there were one word for how marriage is, it would be hard. Although some people may agree, most of them, especially those who are over their honeymoon phases, would agree. Before Jorrie married, she perceived it as a romantic comedy full of romance; however, the perspectives switched quickly.
The honeymoon phase does look like that, but the more time you spend with your partner, the more reality checks you get. It is not about fixing and perfecting the other person’s flaws but accepting their quirks and staying in love. If you love cleanliness, you’ll have to forgive your partner for the dirty clothes on the floor and an untidy room that looks like chaos. Take it as a blessing and just another part of life. If you are eager to expand your family, there’s no doubt that you need to prepare yourself mentally for even more chaos.
After the baby arrives, you’ll be on your toes, looking for diapers, running errands, and attending feeding sessions. At the end of the day, your mind and body will be completely exhausted. The little angel is a blessing, and experiencing parenthood is one of the kindest emotions; however, as you start expecting more from your partner, you no longer happily want to tidy the room full of chaos. An eyeroll and words that you utter from exhaustion are the norm. However, you do not stop because this is probably what love looks like: not letting the mess bother you and moving on despite the challenges coming your way.
Seeing the baby grow and achieve his firsts is something all parents look forward to. As the baby grows, you start thinking that life will soon return to normal or at least become less of a daily hustle. However, it is when the real game begins. Juggling between trying to become the best version of a parent and balancing emotions and stuff with your partner is a constant. With the second baby’s arrival, there’s more than you expect. Now you will have to look after yourself, the partner, a toddler, and a newborn; not an easy job! The house contains much more joy, however, eating cereal for dinner because you don’t have the energy to cook, and doing chores past midnight when kids have slept becomes a part of you.
Teamwork and opening up in front of your partner is the best thing you can do for yourself, as not understanding each other would be the norm, and arguing over little things, only because of exhaustion and a sleepless night, would become common. On some days, you sleep angry, not realizing that it harms the relationship, and habits you once adored start to annoy you. You might even get harsh unintentionally, but sticking together keeps you going despite the stress and tears shed. However, despite it all, you wake up every day and choose the same person with pride and a heart of guilt for the arguments.
Compromising on the little things does not seem bad; you know you’d do it all to preserve the marriage. Raising kids can be a tough job. However, it’s truly a blessing in disguise when your partner is ready to sit and talk, hold you through the rough patches, and show up to ease your job. The date nights might not look the same anymore, but the nights you spend together, munching on snacks and tidying the room, talking about life, everything seems okay in those moments. The fact that you know, despite everything, you’ll end up together is what matters. Marriage is hard, but it is worth it with the right partner!
