My son and I have a little routine we’ve done since before he could talk:
Me: “Who do I love?”
Him: “Me!”
Me: “How much?”
Him: “So much!”
Me: “Who has my heart?”
Him: “I do!”
Me: “Teamwork…?”
Him: “Makes the dream work!”
It might be cheesy, but for me, it’s a promise that I will always be there for him.
Before my son, it was just my husband and me, supporting each other through every challenge. We’d always wanted children, but for years it felt impossible. After trying foster-to-adopt and dealing with job losses and moves, our dream seemed far away until an old friend of my husband’s, who also wanted a child, suggested we do it together. IVF was long and draining, but then came the call: we were going to be parents.
When our son was born, hospital rules kept me out of the delivery room. Only two names could go on the birth certificate, so my husband was listed as the father, his mother gave him life, and I gave him my biology. That first day holding him against my chest, I promised to give him the best life possible.
We all lived together at first, but space and practicality led to two loving homes. Co-parenting brought challenges, but our son had three parents who adored him. Still, without legal recognition, I feared losing him if something happened to my husband. Many lawyers didn’t understand our situation until we found one who did. After a lengthy court process, we became one of New York’s first court-ordered tri-custody families.
Parenting as three isn’t simple, but we’ve always put our son first. We moved to the suburbs, joined the PTA, and built a stable, loving environment. He’s now a bright, empathetic kindergartner with a strong bond to all his parents.
Not everyone understands our family. I’ve faced ignorance from strangers questioning my right to parent to hurtful comments online. But my son knows where he comes from. He proudly marches with us at Pride and tells people how special it is to have two dads.
Our life is now full of school events, sports, and after-school activities. We don’t get everything right, but we show up for him emotionally, physically, and spiritually every day.
We’re living proof that love not gender or tradition defines a family. No matter the challenges, we honor our son, and he honors us: his father, his mother, and his papa.
