Everyone does not live the same magical life while still in their childhood; for some, it is a trauma, a total nightmare. Similarly, Brady’s experience was. Everything was fine until one day, in the middle of the night, a police officer woke her up. Hundreds of questions ran through her mind. Although she was just seven and had a younger sister, her world fell apart when the police took away Brandy’s mother as she was arrested for drug or alcohol related charges.
Both girls were home alone and too young to take care of themselves, but for years, destiny did not write a foster home for any of them. Similar incidents happened often, however, and always, a new way was figured out for the girls to be taken care of.
Talking about the mother, she was a violent alcoholic and was not in her senses on most days. Being a woman over 300 pounds and 5’10 ” in height, how she looked was already too intimidating for the girls; however, things got worse when she was drunk. From smashing doors and walls and once punching through the aquarium, Brady clearly remembers the trauma she had to go through in her mother’s presence.
It upsets how mothers are supposed to be your protectors and the ones that love you the most; however, not a single time could she experience that kind of love she craved for. The family’s financial condition was not good either, so they often had to move from one place to another.
Shifting over 15 times made the girls question where they even belonged. Although Brady was just a child, what she learnt at such a young age takes years for an adult. The responsibility of taking care of her younger sister overwhelmed her at times, and she recalls how, once, when she tried to cook, she burnt herself.
All these moments made her question the purpose of her mother’s presence and existence, as throughout, she felt unsafe and was not supported. The presence of a father was not there either, as her mother switched partners often, and none of them had anything to do with the girls. When Brady started grade 9, she built herself on her maturity and experiences.
From joining community groups to forming strong friendships, she did it all for herself. She also confided in a teacher who eventually invited Brady to live with them, and she accepted it as the best decision of her life. It was the first time experiencing what everyday life should feel like.
She was there for a year until she took residency in her high school. Joining the residential high school was just another challenge in her life, as without the support of her family, things were tough. Thus, she grew closer to another family she met at the church over time. The parents were already foster parents, so she often babysat for them and spent most of the day at their place.
One day, Brady got into a serious heated argument with her mother and decided to run away from her house. This was when the Pates stepped in and told how they were ready for guardianship. She often wonders how the mother did not care once, signed the papers, and drove away with Brady’s car. The 16-year-old Brady was now part of another family. Randie and Lynn Pate cared for her without hesitation, like they knew her forever.
To honour them, on Brady’s 18th birthday, which is special to everyone, she decided to change her last name to Pate.
The couple never left her side and supported her through everything from Brady’s graduation to her divorce. At 32, she was officially adopted by the couple! Their beautiful relationship for years was legal, and Brady was grateful for that.
Today, the 7-year-old girl who faced fear for the first time and went through so many words as a social worker is serving the community in multiple ways. She proves how powerful love is and how saying yes to one adoption can change lives!
