Allison was adopted back in 1979 through a closed adoption. She was an infant when the family decided to adopt her, which is why she has no information about who her biological parents were, her name, pictures, or even her own medical history. All she has is a sheet of paper describing what the parents looked like and their hobbies. She wonders what makes people think it is enough to have it only, especially those who grow up curious about their family. The birth certificate, too, has the names of her adoptive parents, as the original one was sealed and later replaced.
Although the adoptive parents never kept Allison’s adoption a secret from her and she was always made to feel safe and regular regarding her journey, she did look forward to a few answers that were a bit too invasive. Being a child, she always felt special and loved; however, as time passed, the questions about who her real parents were kept her stuck, and this was when the feeling of being deeply wanted was replaced with misunderstandings. Without any answers, she grew up and married someone she deeply loved. However, when both partners had mutually agreed to start a family, infertility came between their wishes.
The pain of losing multiple babies made them go for adoption as the doctors had told them there were high chances of infertility, and so, adopting a baby was the only possible way to escape the grief that came with the inability to experience parenthood. As Allison herself was adopted when she was a baby, she was all prepared to give the baby they get all her love and care, and she knew it would be a beautiful journey. What made it even better is that now, as open adoptions are encouraged, adoption is not something that would keep the baby away from her birth family either. She was okay with staying connected.
The adoption process was long and took months of paperwork, licensing, training, and creating a profile that included all necessary details and a brief of the couple’s journey. Then, it was time to wait until they received a call, which wasn’t for long. In just a few days, the couple received a call from a mother who was expecting and would soon go into labour. The couple interacted with her, and the next few months were about getting to know each other as the expectant mother knew her baby was in the right hands.
Once at peace, she expressed how she wanted Allison to be present in the delivery room to witness the birth, so she invited her. When the baby finally arrived in the world, Allison first let the biological mother hold her baby, knowing it was no less than a blessing, as it was something Allison never got to experience. Then, she held her, and it felt like the emptiness in her had filled, and she was healing from all that had hurt her.
The mothers had agreed that the adoption would not be secret from the daughter and that openness in the relationship would be prioritised. Allison stayed in the birth state for longer than it was needed, just so the baby could experience the love from her family. Once they left, video calls, messages, and pictures, the mother was updated in all possible ways of communication as per the promise. They know family can not be replaced, and rather than putting the child in a state of curiosity, it is best to keep things transparent and create harmony.
Both families know how Allison would feel looking to be getting love from two families, and she wouldn’t be the adopted child who is unable to answer questions because of the kept secrets and hidden identities of the actual parents. Allison later also penned down all that she experienced in her journey of getting adopted and then adopting in a book, Surrounded by Love: An Open Adoption Story. It is a beautiful message to keep things real for the children to make them feel more loved than they actually are.
