It was 8th August when Mollie welcomed two beautiful baby girls through an emergency C-section. She was still in a state of dizziness and felt disoriented. Mollie’s husband and mother broke the news that the couple had welcomed two girls and were overwhelmed with joy. While the first baby arrived at 9:20 and weighed 1lb and 7oz, the other came a minute later at 9:21, weighing 2lbs 1oz. However, Molly’s heartbeat rushed when the news that both babies were taken into the NICU and were not doing well just a few hours after birth.
Mollie had the urge to see her babies, and when she did, it took her a while to process how tiny the babies were. It felt like they were too fragile to be held. While twin A looked a bit healthier and there were hopes she would recover faster, she was still covered in tubes. The other baby was even tinier than the first one and could not even be approached—her conditions are clearly unstable. This is not how Mollie had imagined motherhood to look, as the scans and her pregnancy overall went smoothly.
Throughout the pregnancy, Mollie kept imagining the magical moments when she would hear the first cries of her twins and how it would feel to hold the angels in her arms. However, nothing happened the way she had been dreaming. Holding them was just a wish; she could not even touch them because of how delicate their skin looked! To give them the comfort and safety the girls had experienced in their mother’s womb, Mollie gently caressed them through her palm.
Since the birth of the babies, most of the couple’s days were spent at the hospital as the girls were constantly under observation and admitted to the NICU. Mollie was pumping out milk every two hours while her husband was doing Daddy’s duties, rushing the milk upstairs for the baby.
The couple’s presence together made it easier for them as relief came in waves every time things got a bit easier, or a small milestone was hit, like changing tiny diapers. Doctors told how the babies’ vitals were stable. However, their hearts were occupied with the fear of losing the babies and not being able to hold them, as the empty arms made Mollie feel like she did not do a good job as a mother.
After days in the hospital, the couple received a call on the 23rd of August. One, they were not prepared for, as on the other side, someone was telling them how one of their babies’ conditions had gotten unstable. It was Baby A, the one for whom the parents were hopeful to survive, but their hopes were shattered when the couple was told that the baby’s kidneys had failed, and her blood pressure was not stable either. The doctors clearly stated that they could not be hopeful about the chances of recovery as they weren’t present.
The couple decided to keep the baby at comfort and peace till she was present, and so she was, for the very first time, taken out of her isolette, the only time the parents got to hold her. Fifteen days after her condition declined, the baby passed away in her mom’s arms at 11:10 am.
For her burial, the parents opted to cremate and plant her ashes with a tree. The growing tree would be a memory and might ease their pain. Although she was not able to live long, the impact she had on the lives of her parents was surreal, and the parents were glad about how she was loved till her last breath. Although her twin is still in the NICU fighting for her life, the parents silently pray for her survival as the pain of losing a child was the worst kind they had experienced. Despite her condition, which varies on days, there is constant hope for survival!
