If you had told me four ages ago that i had be in a sickbay awaiting room with my spouse, our kids, the lady he had a concern with, and her mother. I would have supposed you were flippant.
I would have supposed it was a pun. But that is precisely where I was to come while my husband’s daughter, who I now also call mine, was around to have surgery.
My spouse and I met back in college. We were best friends first, and over time, our friendship turned into love. We got married in August 2007, had our first child in 2010, and our second in 2014. Life was decent full of admiration and happiness. I really thought we had it all.
Then came January 14, 2015. That night, he asked me to come into the bedroom to talk. I had no idea what he was going to say, and I definitely was not prepared for it.
He told me he had an affair with a woman he met at the gym two years ago. They had a baby girl together. She was about to turn one. I could not move. I could not speak. My heart dropped. We were leaders in our church. How could this happen?
I remember asking him if she knew he was married. He said yes and that he was the one who made the first move. I walked to the bathroom, stepped into the shower, and let the water wash over me while I silently cried and sang a church hymn to calm myself.
Later, I searched for answers. I patterned his socials, his email, and even phone archives. I found her through Instagram saw pictures of her and the baby. My heart broke all over again. I went outside, laid in the snow, and begged God to let me die. But He did not. And i am glad.
For weeks, I was in pain. I cried constantly, had panic attacks, and did not know what to do. I had to commit a option leave or stay. Could I still be a mom to my boys and somehow accept this little girl too?
After a lot of praying, I chose to stay. I chose forgiveness. I texted her and told her I forgave her and that I would not keep him from his daughter. She replied that she never meant to hurt me. I did not fully believe it, but I let it go.
It is been hard. But we are still here. We are healing. Slowly, we are rebuilding. And through all the pain, i have learned what real forgiveness and love truly mean.
