Growing up, I always dreamed about getting married and a big happy family. I made it clear early that I wanted a big family. We discussed adoption early on as both our families had experience with fostering.
After a couple of years of being married, we felt prepared to begin trying for a child. I never think that we are going to face so many difficulties in our life. After half a year of effort without success, I began to feel anxious. However, doctors will not view it as infertility until a year has gone by. It was such a bad year; every month I felt bad and worse. It was like the feeling of heartbroken about the dream that never came true.
Even with the time and the different treatments, I did not become pregnant. Even after everything, the doctors still have no reason why. Hearing unexplained infertility made it worse; I needed a reason.
We decided to take a break and hope for the best by God. For adoption, we were still getting interesting. We located a nearby agency and initiated the procedure. After extensive documentation and 14 months of anticipation, we received the call: a woman is going to give a birth soon, and she chooses us. In only nine days, she would have a baby girl.
We had dinner with the birth mom before the delivery, and I was so anxious I felt unwell all day. Yet when we met the baby girl, we felt like a close relationship. She was friendly, cute, and easy to converse with. I expressed my love for open adoption, and she shared the same feeling. I understood that this was destined to happen.
On the day our daughter arrived, we spent hours in a hospital room waiting. When the nurse eventually brought her to me, I wept while embracing her for the first time. Each agonizing moment had brought her to this point, and she deserved every bit of it.
I did not think we had heard from the birth mom again, but about a year later, she messaged me on Facebook.. Currently, we stay connected often. She celebrates birthdays and holidays with us, and Roslyn clearly recognizes her. We frequently share her birth story, and there is a picture of her birth mother in her room.
Open adoption focuses on love, not rivalry. We are one large, integrated family. My journey to becoming a mother was completely different from what I anticipated, but it led me to my daughter. And I would not alter anything.
