I got married when I was 20 years old and thought that it was normal. I met someone in college while studying music at Utah university.

But three years later, when I finished my study, I suffered divorce. I was so broken. My twenties I start to groom myself. I start focused on my self that wants to live on your own and finding way for second dates, experiencing heartbreak at a young age, and how to start my second date.

For me, dating another guy was difficult for me because I had faced both heartbreak and mistreatment, and I was scared to. I found myself in harmful patterns and even endured a relationship with someone my therapist later described as a clinical psychopath.

By the time I turned 30, I was tired and quite up on dating. I planned to move to a new place. I want to start a new life in New York and concentrate on music, abandoning the stresses of marriage and stability.

Before leaving Utah, I just tried once last time on dating where I met Scott. He was generous, attractive, humorous, and cooked delicious meals. During our initial date, first we date each other for one month before we marry in a snowy winter wonderland on December 15, 2015. My life has become like a magical story: music, love care, and all the time we joy together live happily.

My second married life was full of joy and happiness all the time. However, shortly thereafter, I was involved in a severe car crash. I got hurt, and the emotional impact was significant. Scott was always with me, and in time he also faced some health issues, but still he was helping me, such as sleep apnea. He traveled to Idaho for surgery that might assist, intending for me to come after.

When my uncle passed away, his funeral was set for Friday. Scott and I arranged for me to see my uncle later, which postponed my journey. The day following the funeral, Scott began to heal from his tonsil operation we did not talk too much, but he said to me stay positive stay happy that night I told him that I love u and I hope tomorrow is better.

The next day I was trying to contact Scott. I was texting him, calling him but suddenly his brother delivered me a message that Scott ID no more; he is dead. I was shocked. I was panicking, and I was broker when I heard that.

When I called to verify, I was informed that Scott had passed away and nothing could be done. It was like a bad dream, but it was real. I was not accepting that truth and family and friends to console me. We shared his best memories together. We cried a lot.

Scott and I married almost 2 years ago. That time was the best time in my life. I learned how to grow how to stay happy. He had given me a new life. He will be missed. Since then, i have battled with sorrow but discovered resilience via therapy, establishing a nonprofit in his honor, and sharing my experiences through a blog and podcast. I relocated to NYC and am still recovering while aiding those dealing with loss.
