To my daughter,
I want to take this moment to speak directly to you, my sweet girl. I know life in our family has not always been easy. So much of my time and attention often goes to your brother, and I can only imagine how that must feel for you at times. Please don’t ever doubt this: I see you.
I see the way you quietly step back when his schedule changes ours. I see the patience in your eyes when we cancel plans because he needs therapy or when you miss out on something because he’s struggling. I see you when you’re sitting at the table doing schoolwork while your brother learns at home. I see the way you handle it when we all try new diets, cutting out gluten, sugar, dyes all those “free” things that were never really fun. Through all of it, you’ve shown a grace and strength beyond your years.
When you were just four, I remember watching you kneel next to your brother in the middle of one of his meltdowns. Without anyone asking you to, you gently told him to take deep breaths. You were so little, yet you instinctively knew how to bring him comfort. That moment will never leave my heart. I saw your kindness then, and I see it still today.
Please believe me when I say I think about you just as much as I think about your brother. You may hear us worry about him often his future, his independence, whether he’ll ever be able to live on his own, hold a steady job, or find lasting friendships and love. But we carry worries for you too. We wonder about your happiness, about whether you’ll chase your dreams, about what your future will look like when you spread your wings. The concerns may look different between you two, but they are equally deep.
I still remember your brother’s first day of kindergarten. I worried nonstop, would he have meltdowns, would the teachers understand him, would the other kids be kind, or would I get a call before the day was done? With you, my only worry was how much I would miss you. That’s how much faith I have in your strength and spirit. You’ve grown up learning patience, acceptance, and compassion simply by being his sister. I see how you go out of your way to befriend kids who might not always fit in, and I know that somewhere, another mother breathes easier because of your kindness.
I know it’s not easy for you. It’s hard to feel like you sometimes get lost in the busyness of our family life. I try to carve out special moments just for us, but I know it doesn’t always feel like enough. Please know, though, that I carry you in my thoughts every single day. Sometimes, when the house is finally quiet, I lie awake at night just thinking about you. I pray that you never feel overlooked or less loved.
So far, you’ve never complained, never asked “why me,” never held bitterness in your heart. But if the day ever comes when you do, I want you to know I’ll understand. Because even then, you are still my thoughtful, loving, amazing daughter. And I know how much your brother loves you, even if he doesn’t always know how to say it.
You are just as important, just as treasured, and just as loved. Always.
I see your strengths, your patience, your empathy, your big heart. I see your struggles, even the ones you don’t say out loud. I see the dreams in your eyes, and I see the fire in your spirit. You are not invisible. You are my daughter, and I see you.
With all my love,
Mom
