Our daughter Hannah was almost five when we decided to try for another baby. After six months, I started feeling different, tired, headaches, just off. I took two pregnancy tests, both negative, but I just knew. A week later, home alone, I took another. It was positive! I cried and called my best friend, needing to tell someone.
Courtesy of Jessica Koenig
I wanted to surprise Matt, so I bought a Dairy Queen gift card, during my first pregnancy, I craved Blizzards and wrote a note: “You’ll need this for all the Blizzards you’ll be getting me the next nine months. You’re going to be a daddy again!” He was thrilled. At six weeks, we told Hannah. We gave her a “Big Sister” book.
She gave me a puzzled look and said, ‘You can’t be pregnant, you don’t even have a belly! Once I explained, she got excited. It was perfect timing, because I got really sick, ending up in the hospital at six weeks. At my OB visit, she did an early ultrasound.
I was nervous something was wrong. Then she smiled and said, “There are two babies in there.” Matt and I cried. Twins! We were overwhelmed but happy. At eight weeks, we had a gender reveal cake for Thanksgiving. We cut it and saw pink… then blue! A girl and a boy. Hannah was so excited for a sister. Everything was going smoothly until our 19-week scan.
Baby A, our boy Cameron, looked perfect. But the tech paused on Baby B, our girl. Then came the words no parent wants to hear: “There’s something wrong.” She asked if we’d heard of anencephaly. I had. My heart sank. Camille wouldn’t survive. I would need to carry her to term to keep Cameron safe. I couldn’t understand how we’d plan for birth and death at the same time.
Telling Hannah was heartbreaking. She gave Camille a lovey to take to heaven. We cried together. Then we tried to make the most of our time with Camille, making memories, buying matching stuffed animals, finding moments of joy.
Alexandria Mooney Photography
Camille came into the world just one minute after her twin brother, Cameron, on May 24th. We expected to lose her right away, but she lived three beautiful days. We held her every moment. It was joyful and painful. She passed peacefully in Matt’s arms. Six months have passed, and I still think about her every single day. Cameron reaches for the painting of Camille’s heartbeat. He’ll always be a twin. And I’ll always be a twin mom.
